¤¤By ShArInG tHeSe ThInGs, I rIp My HeArT oUt¤¤

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 01:45:40 GMT

okay guys my new lj is mybrokenpieces5 !!! add me

...last entry...

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 19:06:29 GMT

well livejournal u have been good to me...
its time to leave you and get a new...
its been fun w/ the drama...
the heartbreaks...
and the fun...
but w/ the new year this journal must be done...
i will end with a heartfelt goodbye to ballachic12's oh so interesting life...
lets start fresh and excited about what is to come...
so goodbye old LJ i hope u all like my new one...
i promise to offer just as much dirt and fun in this one...

!!!!!!GOODBYE!!!!!!

...bored in comp class...

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 18:37:37 GMT

Take the quiz: "Which kiss are you? (pics)"

your the perfect kiss
Your kiss is perfection. Simple as that.

...bored...

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 07:14:48 GMT

Congratulations you are most like Haley James! You
are an intelligent person. You kick ass
mentally and physically! You like to talk a
lot, babble, and all that jazz. You are very
positive and believes that that "if
there's a
will... there's a way." You also have a good
sense of what is a friendship and rarely
encounters unnecessary drama in real life.

Which One Tree Hill Character are You Most Like?
brought to you by Quizilla

look what i got...

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 18:47:58 GMT

Take the quiz: "The MOOD quiz! (With cool blinkies!)"

Hip
You are all about style. People mis-interpret that with being stuck up. But who cares? You don't need anyone! You're on your way to fame.

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 03:58:28 GMT

Hey Heather Boo! I finally changed your journal for you. Sorry it took so long!! I really hope you like it =)

<3 Stephi Poo =^.^=

...yet another boring day in the life of heather...

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 03:26:27 GMT

well i was gonna fill out one of those queation thingies but nah i aint that bored...
i think brock is gonna redo my journal for me...
YAY A NEW LOOK...
went to practice today at 7...
just found out there is something goin' down...
Daniel's house...
gotta go get ready...
YAY...

stole it from Jess...man i need to stop stealing...i think i am a clepto

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 07:15:07 GMT

would you...
- would you hug me?
- would you miss me if i was gone?
- would you kiss me?
- would you make out with me?
- would you listen to my problems?
- would you be a good friend?
- would you be my best friend?
would you ever...
- would you ever go out with me?
- would you ever do it again if you already have?
- would you ever marry me if you could?
- would you ever make out with me in a cemetery?
- would you ever make out with me in the rain?
- would you ever cuddle with me?
- do me?
if you could...
- if you could give me a new name, it would be?
- if you could do one thing with me, it would be?
- if you could give me a piece of advice, it would be?
- if you could kidnap me for a day, where would we go?
just a few questions...
- what do you love about me?
- what do you hate about me?
- what is my best quality?
- if you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
- what is your honest opinion about me?
- what would you do if i sang out of tune?
- what song reminds you of me?
- do i remind you of any characters on tv?
- have you ever had a dream about me?
- do you think i'm a virgin?
- if you just met me, how old would you guess i am?
- am i huggable?
- if you could give me anything, what would it be?
- if you could promise me anything, what would it be?
personal...
- am i ugly, average, decent, good looking, beautiful, gorgeous etc.?
- if you could describe me in one word, what would that word be?
- when we first talked, what were your thoughts?
- if you had to describe to someone who i am and what i am like, what would you tell them?
- what are my faults?
- what are my strengths?
- do you wish we were closer?
- why aren't we closer?

...it all makes perfect sense...

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 00:31:27 GMT

The way my tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt me anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love me,
hate me,
wish I would die
or
know that you would die
without me ...
it matters not....
Because once in your life,
whatever I was to the world
I became everything to you.
When you look me in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of my soul
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable,
consumed within the rhythmic beatings
of my very heart.
You love me for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind,
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.

PrEgUnTaS aNyOne....

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 00:43:29 GMT

1. if ur my friend why is that?
2. do i make u laugh?
3. do i seem weird?
4. describe me in 5 words.
5. if u could teach me how to do something what would it be?
6. if u could take me somewhere, where would it be and why?
7. name 1 thing u would change about me.
8. name 1 thing u wouldnt change about me.
9. if we were ever trapt in a mall together over night with nobody there, what would we do?
10. if u could plan me the ultimate party where would it be at? and if u could get any 3 bands which would u choose for me?
11. name something that reminds you of me.
12. am i decent looking?
13. ever want to tell me something but havent?
14. have i ever got u upset? if so what about?
15. when was the last time we saw eachother?
16. do u trust me?
17. do u think i am somebody u would come to whenever u need somebody to listen?
18. do u think im honest or a blunt person?
19. name a memory we shared.
20. tell me something random.

...here is that poem...

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 00:50:49 GMT

i wrote it last week...i was goin' through one of my lonely spurts again...but things are getting better

The feeling i got from your kiss
is something i will always miss.
The way i felt when i couldn't breathe,
always wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I hate the fact that i fell so hard,
because this wound is still open, it will never be scarred.
To have just one more night with you
even though it wouldn't be right, it would be a dream come true.
Do you remember calling me your boo?
When i woke up in the morning and you were on my mind,
I asked my heart to "Please be kind".
Because if it wasn't i knew what would it would do,
It would break into a million pieces again,becuase the memories of you.
I've tried so hard to breakaway,
but the things that remind me of you still stay.
The cold winter is coming back,
and you aren't here to keep me warm.
I wish you were here holding me tight,
because without you i am torn.

anyways...thats that...
i dont' know why i got through these crappy lonely times when all i think about is him. I wish i could think of someone else but it never works that way. I guess its cuz i had him for so long i can't get used to thinking of any other heartbreaks i have had.Well w/e it gives me something to write about......at least i am not in my lonely mood anymore its funny how it only lasts for about a week....

...bored with my layout...

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 04:41:35 GMT

hey anyone out there wanna make me an awesome LJ layout??? Krystal did a great job with my last one its just i have had it for so long its getting a little old. Anyone up for the J-O-B???

a nice song....

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 23:13:53 GMT

  A Lonely September
   I'm sittin' here all by myself/just tryin' to think of something to do/
   Tryin' to think of something, anything/just to keep me from thinking of you/
   But you know it's not working out/'cause you're all that's on my mind/
   One thought of you is all it takes/to leave the rest of the world behind/

   Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did/
   And I didn't mean to get so close/and share what we did/
   And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did/
   And you didn't mean to love me back/but I know you did/

   I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself/that you're not the one for me/
   But the more I think, the less I believe it/and the more I want you here with me/
   You know the holidays are coming up/I don't want to spend them alone/
   Memories of Christmas time with you/will just kill me if I'm on my own/
   I know it's not the smartest thing to do/we just can't seem to get it right/
   But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight/

   I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar/
   But with all my inspiration gone/it's not getting me very far/
   I look around my room/and everything I see reminds me of you/
   Oh please, baby won't you take my hand/we've got nothing left to prove/

   And I didn't mean to meet you then/we were just kids/
   And I didn't mean to give you chills/the way that I kiss/
   And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did/
   And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did/
   Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did/
   No, you didn't mean to love me back/
   But you did

Its weird how it all sorta goes along with things.......

....bored...

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 05:41:20 GMT

OH MAN I LOVE THE NEW GOOD CHARLOTTE CD.... its so awesome u guys have to buy it. I know there are some haters out there but i like them a lot so kiss my booty..haha!!!!! here are some lyrics of there really good songs....

"The Truth"

So here we are
We are alone
There’s weight on your mind
I wanna know
The truth
If this is how you feel
Say it to me
If this was ever real

I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me
[x2]

I want the truth

So this is you
You're talking to me
You found a million ways to let me down
So I’m not hurt when you’re not around
I was blind
But now I see
This is how you feel
Just say it to me
If this was ever real

I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me
[x2]

I know that this will break me
I know that this might make me cry
You gotta say what’s on your mind, on your mind
I know that this will hurt me
And break my heart and soul inside
But I don’t wanna live this lie

I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts
I don’t care no more, no
Just give me the truth
Give me the truth
'Cause I don’t care no more
Give me the truth
'Cause I don’t care no more, no
Just give me the truth
Give me the truth
Give me the truth
Give me the truth
Give me the truth
'Cause I don’t care no more, no

"We Believe"

There's a woman crying out tonight
Her world has changed
She asks God why
Her only son has died
And now her daughter cries
She can't sleep at night

Downtown
Another day for all the suits and ties
Another war to fight
There's no regard for life
How do they sleep at night
How can we make things right?
Just wanna make this right

We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
In this love

We are all the same
Human in all our ways and all of pain
(So let it be)
There's a love that could fall down like rain
(Let us see)
Let forgiveness wash away the pain
(What we need)
And no one really knows what they are searching for
(We believe)
This world is crying for so much more

We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
In this love

We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
In this love

So this world
Is too much
For you to take
Just lay it down and follow me
I'll be everything you need
In every way

We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
We believe
In this love
(In this love)
We believe
(In this love)
We believe
(In this love)
We believe
(In this love)

"Ghost Of You"

I will wait until the end
When the pendulum will swing back
to the darker side of our hearts bleeding
I will save this empty space
next to me like its a grave
where I lay a place for us to sleep eternally together

I have been
Searching for
Traces of
What we were
A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
and nothing left of what we were at all

So here I am pacing around this house again
With pictures of us living on these walls
I see my breath in the cold of the air that I breathe and I'm

wondering I'm wondering if its you that i feel if its you that i feel

haunting me forever

I have been
Searching for
Traces of
What we were
A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
and nothing left of what we were at all

and I'm not looking for
anything but us
anything but what we were
and I'm not asking for
painted memories
I only want to know you're here

A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find theres no one there but me
and nothing left of what we were at all
A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find theres no one there but me
and nothing left of what we were at all.

yeah so anyways....we played holtville today and we won... so that was exciting! i can't wait until Friday night and saturday night it is gonna be sick!!! My senior is kickin' ass so far...i am doin' well with my grades and i mean volleyball seems to be turning around so YAY!!!! umm....i am kinda wanting a b/f or someone to date i don't know it would be a plus....hehe. Well anyways i don't have much to say tonight so goodnight all!!!!

...If you wanna win...Put Booby in...

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 02:38:40 GMT

Ya so i finally got my internet back...we had to wipe our entire comp clean and reload everything. took long enough huh? I went and saw Friday Night Lights today...i would have to say it is one of the best sports movies i have seen in a while. I loved it! It was so sad i cried twice. :(...anyways....this weekend was pretty sick i had fun....can't wait for homecoming this weekend its is gonna be so awesome!!!! i got my nails done at the cosmetology school in B-town...advice: DON'T GO THERE...i went out last night and when i opened eddies car door the wind blew it and it pulled my had with it and 2 nails broke off!!! fuckin' cheap ass nails....eeeeerrr now i have to find time to go get them done again and i have no idea when i will be able to...sux! well i don't have much else to say so i will just sign off! "IF YOU WANNA WIN PUT BOOBY IN WATCH ME I'LL SPIN"

okay i got 2 of em....

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 17:22:17 GMT

i wrote this one in my hotel room this past weekend...

Remembering all the good times that we shared,
I wondered if you really cared.
Yes.
I think you did.
I talk with you now as if we hadn't been what we were.
Its as if we have always been just friends
and as if the 8 months never happened.
Even though i am happy that we are still what we are,
I am sad that we know what we had is really over.
Do you ever wonder what we could've been,
or what we should've been?
It crosses my mind from time to time.
Is it taht we just acted like it was always good,even in the end?
Or was love just blind?
That is it, love was just blind.
We didn't see the hurt we caused eachother.
The pain is over.
We are over.
We have been over.
We are moving on.
We have moved on.

this one i wrote in math class...

Was i really your sky,
or is that a line you used before?
Thats what i asked myself
over and over
after you walked out the door.
In the midst of all the chaos
i found some relief.
I never knew such insubstantial romances
could get rid of such grief.
Grief stricken and depressed,
a self-loathing mess.
How did i let myself get that way,
a mind full of regrets.
I don't think about us or you anymore,
or that memory of you leaving,
and wlaking out that door.
I am surprised that i found the strength
to get over your sorry ass.
You, your anger,
and your not os well hidden love for "grass".
I am glad that you are doing wellnow.
So am i, i am doing fine.
It's just crazy to think that for so long
i had called you mine.
Now WE are just a memory,
but a friend YOU will always be.
Take care of yourself Babe,
if not for you, do it for me.

My Collage...

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 17:05:30 GMT

Hey guys i just wanted to post my collage i made in my comp graphics class...its title is PAIN! i hope ya'll like it i put a lot of my heart into it...

heart tangled up in your eyes....

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 17:03:55 GMT

Well i met this guy...and i am starting to like him....but he doesn't want a g/f....i guess i will keep trying anyways... nothin' to lose right? and then there is another one... Mr. Downey-Boy himself...but the only bad thing is...is that he lives in Downey and we both have had LD relationships...i don't know....its weird but w/ him i never feel weird and i can tell him anything....thats cool...he's cool....i just don't know....

for you Luis.....man i miss you

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 17:05:22 GMT

i wish i could have said goodbye before you couldn't say it back....

"View From Heaven"

i'm just so tired
wont you sing me to sleep
and fly through my dreams
so i can hitch a ride with you tonight
and get away from this place
have a new name and face
i just aint the same without you in my life
late night drives, all alone in my car
i can't help but start
singing lines from all our favorite songs
and melodies in the air
singin life just aint fair
sometimes i still just can't believe you're gone
and im sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine here
and if we all believe in heaven,
maybe we'll make it through one more year
down here

feel your fire,
when its cold in my heart
and things sorta start
remindin' me of my last night with you
i only need one more day
just one more chance to say
i wish that i had gone up with you too
and i'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine here
and if we all believe in heaven
maybe we'll make it through one more year
down here

you wont be comin' back
and i didn't get to say goodbye
i really wish i got to say goodbye
and im sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine here
and if we all believe in heaven
maybe we'll make it through one more year
i hope that all is well in heaven
cause it's all shot to hell down here
i hope that i find you in heaven
cause i'm so...
lost without you down here
you wont be coming back
and i didn't get to say goodbye
i really wish i got to say gooooodbye

"Slipped Away"

Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

Na na la la la na na

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by

Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...

Nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah
I miss you

you are one of the hardest ones to let go of....

RIP ELMO (Luis)

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 16:22:19 GMT

Wow ...yet another one taken away from this world. I hate this thing called death. I miss you dude...we worked together all summer and now all of a sudden you are gone....wow

wow....long time since a reall update...

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 17:25:00 GMT

hey guys... i know i know its been awhile since i updated, but i have a good excuse...my modem has a virus and it won't connect to the internet so my only means of communication to the internet world is the computer in my comp graphics class. Anyways...senior year is pretty frikin' cool...my grades are good so far but i feel them slippin' a little i need to get back in gear. Volleyball is nothin' but drama as usual but league starts on thursday WE PLAY HOLTVILLE AT 6 IN IMPERIAL so u guys should come. Umm....the love update...there is no love life...i miss it a lot and i still feel that i may not be over my ex Mitchell but that is understandable...right? I guess i just need someone haha....i gave this one guy a chance cuz he has liked me since his freshman year so i let him take me on a date and we were seeing eachother for about 2 weeks...but things just didn't seem to work out b/w us it was weird. There is this other guy that i think is cool but i am not sure. I am having fun w/ all my friends and living my senior up not letting any moment go to waste. I have already lost someone i knew this year i wonder how many more God will take away from me. I guess he needs them more than we do. I get these spurts of loneliness and i don't like them. Right now i am in a spurt.....i wish kayla was here to tell me i am stupid and to make me laugh cuz i miss her. I wish Art would come around and make me piss my pants laughing....ever since me and mitch broke up me art and david hardly see eachother and i miss them a lot too! I guess its all apart of growing up. Well 9 months til' graduation...college kinda scares me but i can't wait to go...hopefully i will get out of this town and experience new things. okay i am gonna go so i don't get in trouble for not working on my project. Which not to mention i am really proud of. c ya'll on the flipside homies!!!!

RIP OSCAR "THE HURRICANE" JACKSON

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 17:46:09 GMT

Man its was crazy hard to here about u dying....we'll miss ya dude. See ya around i love you man.....

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 17:10:58 GMT

well my internet has been down for about 3 weeks and is still down... i am never gonna catch up on my friends page i think i may cry......haha

Gracias

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 00:04:40 GMT

Hey, its chris. Thanks for letting me and greg stay at your house for like an hour and a half. I really appreciate it because i prolly would have died out in the desert. I also was pissed and needed to get out of the heat so thanks for letting me take a shower. I figured id write my thank you to you and you'd see it eventually, aite then, i really appreciate everything and we better have fun tonight (hopefully) k later.

...SeNiOr NoW...

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 20:34:00 GMT

Well my first week of being a senior was cool. My classes seem like they will be good and i am happy to be able to share my senior year with so many people i care about. First party of my senior was pretty cool too. Vero hookt me up haha thanx gurl. Volleyball is going well......my coach said that i will be a starter which is pretty cool so i am excited about that. i still got that little hint of lonliness messin' w/ my heart and head...but w/e. i ain't trippin. I miss kayla but thats inevitable. I am happy that Chris is comin' down (the guy i met from CIY)...he is gonna visit our church cuz he knows like everybody from their...i am gonna meet him later today to show him where rob's house is and stuff...maybe we will be able to chill after church cuz i won't be goin' i will be at the Football Carnival... me and krystle are gonna be representin' Chris Vasquez wearin' his jerseys and steph and mel are gonna wear maxx's. it should be cool. Well i haven't really been in the mood to update i just thought i should cuz i haven't in a long time. it kinda sux that i don't have any classes w/ eddie or chris molina but i guess i can't do anything about that now can i? haha well i don't know when the next time i will update is so i will c ya'll at school or around town....tata for now....

¤*¤By ShArInG tHeSe ThInGs, I rIp My HeArT oUt¤*¤